I was inspired by that one guy's poem that made fun of the expression "green with envy." That's right, that one guy. Also, I recently stopped putting 2 spaces between sentences, as I had been taught in elementary school.
Life. Full of surprises.
I'm not very fond of the result, but it's just a draft. A doodle, if you will. The end is mostly random objects, honestly. I might come back and make sense of this--and gather more things that we tend to "give." I wanted to include more abstract ideas like giving someone hell, or a break, because those aren't things you can physically give. Oh well.
He gave me five
so I gave him hell
he told me to give him a break
but I gave him a knuckle sandwich instead
She gave me a kiss
and I gave her a look
he gave me a hand
in turn I gave him the stars
she gave me a knife
I gave her a forest
he gave me a stone
I gave him a wall
at the end of the day
I have nothing left to give
I really like this poem! It's intriguing and I feel like I'll see more of what you're saying every time I read it and I like that you've got the back and forth because it makes it feel like more of a conversation.
ReplyDeleteHey Evan, great idea for a poem! The ending could use some work though, in my opinion (I know you said it's just a draft). I think it's stating the obvious... you give, give, give. You should end with a line about having nothing to take or else having something you give be empty... I dunno. Something like that.
ReplyDeleteHey Evan, great idea for a poem! The ending could use some work though, in my opinion (I know you said it's just a draft). I think it's stating the obvious... you give, give, give. You should end with a line about having nothing to take or else having something you give be empty... I dunno. Something like that.
ReplyDelete